Science of caring why you become attuned to your babys cries

Science of caring why you become attuned to your babys cries

So many of us know the heart- wrenching sound of a crying baby and feel a wave of relief when they are soothed. But have you ever wondered why a baby’s cries have such a powerful effect on us?

All across the world parents are trying to stop their babies crying or wondering why they aren’t crying, and almost every emotion in between as they struggle to deal with new babies.

We here at Babies.co.nz would like to extend our best wishes to the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and the newest addition to their household wee Princess Charlotte. We know that even Dukes and Duchesses feel the same anxiety when they hear their baby crying as parents in New Zealand do.

Having a new baby is an intense and trying time and so when we saw the latest research into how a crying baby can physically change parents we thought we would share the interesting news with parents in an effort to help them understand how such a small person can inspire such huge emotions. The new study also goes some way to explaining why some new mothers have a sense of being attuned to their babies crying – because they are. It isn’t telepathy and it isn’t crazy, it is biology and science has just explained the intricacies of the ‘instinct to soothe’.

When we hear a baby cry something in our very cells wants to stop this plaintive little noise. We know that this is the only way babies can communicate their needs and so it isn’t a big surprise to many parents to hear that scientists recently discovered powerful chemicals are triggered when babies cry.

Apparently listening for a babies cries and caring once the cries are heard is a learned behaviour. New mothers aren’t able to hear their child cry through brick walls or a deep sleep this is a behaviour that is learned in the first few weeks of parenthood, which explains why sleep deprivation is also a new experience at the same time.

A recent study by prestigious science magazine Nature explains how the hormone oxytocin primes our nerve cells to hear when our baby is crying. Oxytocin has widespread effects in the brain and is involved in birth, breast-feeding and bonding with baby, and Robert Froemke of the New York University School of Medicine has recently completed a trial examining the role oxytocin plays in mothers distinguishing the sounds their baby makes.

Mothers have to learn to tune in to the sound of their baby crying and oxytocin helps trigger this learning by ‘rewarding’ the brain with a flood of feel good chemicals, encouraging and stimulating it to repeat the process. Dr Froemke’s research identified a neat loop – baby cries, oxytocin floods the mother’s brain and the brain’s neurons become better at recognising baby’s cries. This loops continue with the result that the mother develops an innate responsiveness to her baby’s crying and actually receives chemical reinforcement to react to the cries.

This is a perfect example of babies and nature working together to get what they need. The baby uses the only method it can to communicate and nature responds by sending chemical messages, oxytocin, and the equivalent to a pat on the back to the mother’s brain as a reward. All to ensure that mothers and babies work together without conscious communication in harmony.

Oxytocin is sometimes referred to as ‘the bonding hormone’ and is involved in the initiation of maternal behaviour, making it almost impossible for mothers to ignore their baby’s crying. Other researchers have found a myriad of ways oxytocin influences reproduction. It plays a big role bonding females and males together as well as mothers and babies.

Through evolution oxytocin has played a “central role in the more complicated aspects of reproductive behaviour. For these reasons, we call oxytocin the great facilitator of life,” says Dr Froemke.

It isn’t all just chemicals though. We here at Babies.co.nz know that love is bigger than chemicals and hormones in our bloodstream. We know the special bond that parents have with their children. Although the joys of being a parent aren’t all rational, and at 3 o’clock in the morning any pleasurable chemical is welcomed parenthood is a truly wonderful journey.

Modern technology has also made it much easier for you to keep a close ear on your baby at all times. Check out our range of baby monitors,interest free specials and laybuy deals.

Both use the same wide, breast-shaped teat design — the difference is in how they handle air reduction. Closer to Nature has a built-in anti-colic valve in the teat that reduces air ingestion during feeds. Advanced Anti-Colic goes further, with a heat-sensing tube at the bottom of the bottle that actively vents air out of the milk before it reaches your baby. For most babies, Closer to Nature is plenty. For babies with more significant colic, wind, or reflux, Advanced Anti-Colic is the better choice.

Yes — the Closer to Nature range is one of the most recommended bottles for combination feeding. The wide, breast-shaped teat encourages the same broad latch breastfed babies use at the breast, reducing the risk of nipple confusion. Always start with a slow flow teat for a breastfed baby regardless of age, and introduce the bottle around three to four weeks once breastfeeding is well established.

For many parents, yes. The Natural Start glass bottle is made from premium borosilicate glass — odour-free, heat resistant, and very easy to sterilise. It's particularly practical in the newborn period when you're sterilising frequently and mostly feeding at home. The main trade-offs are weight and the risk of breakage. Many parents use glass at home and plastic when out and about.

Start with slow flow for all newborns — whether breastfed or formula fed. Move up to variable flow when your baby shows signs of frustration, takes too long to finish feeds, or falls asleep before finishing. Fast flow suits confident, efficient feeders from around six months. Always let your baby's cues guide the decision rather than age alone.

Yes — both ranges include anti-colic features. Closer to Nature has a built-in anti-colic valve that reduces air ingestion. Advanced Anti-Colic takes this further with an active venting system that removes air bubbles from the milk during the feed. For babies with significant colic, the Advanced Anti-Colic bottle is the stronger solution. For a more powerful anti-colic system, Dr Brown's bottles use a fully internal vent system that is clinically proven to reduce colic.

The Perfect Prep Machine makes a fresh, perfectly mixed, body-temperature formula bottle in under two minutes — safely. It delivers a shot of hot water (over 70°C) to kill bacteria in the formula powder, then tops the bottle up to the correct volume with filtered water at room temperature. The result is a safe, correctly mixed bottle at the ideal feeding temperature, every time. The Day and Night version adds a quiet pump and soft night light for night feeds. It requires replacement filters every three months — available at Babies.co.nz.

As a guide: 2–3 bottles for occasional bottle feeding of a breastfed baby; 4–6 for combination feeding; 6–8 for exclusive formula feeding. The Closer to Nature 260ml 3-pack is the most practical starting point as it gives you enough bottles for a full day without constant washing.

Yes — all Closer to Nature, Advanced Anti-Colic, and Natural Start glass bottles and teats are dishwasher safe on the top rack. Replace teats every two to three months or sooner if you notice any thinning, stickiness, or discolouration.

Shop the full Tommee Tippee range online at Babies.co.nz with nationwide delivery, or visit our Auckland showroom in East Tamaki. We stock bottles, teats, the Perfect Prep Machine, sterilisers, breast pumps, and the full Tommee Tippee range. Price Match available and 5% back in Rewards on every purchase.

Both are excellent, widely trusted brands. Tommee Tippee's Closer to Nature teat is slightly softer and more flexible, which some babies find easier to latch onto. Philips AVENT's Natural Response teat uses a unique J-shape that releases milk only when your baby actively drinks — a more precise mimicry of breastfeeding. AVENT also offers more granular teat flow options (six levels vs Tommee Tippee's three). If you're combination feeding and want the most breast-like bottle experience, AVENT Natural Response is worth comparing. If you want a trusted, simple bottle with strong anti-colic performance, Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature is hard to beat. Read our full Philips AVENT buying guide →

The key difference is anti-colic power. Dr Brown's internal vent system is clinically proven to reduce colic and is the stronger solution for babies with significant wind or reflux. Tommee Tippee's anti-colic valve (Closer to Nature) and heat-sensing tube (Advanced Anti-Colic) are effective for most babies but less comprehensive than Dr Brown's approach. On the other hand, Tommee Tippee is simpler to clean — fewer parts, no internal vent tube to wash — and the breast-shaped teat is widely regarded as one of the best for combination feeding. Read our full Dr Brown's buying guide →

Most paediatric guidance recommends transitioning from a bottle to a cup around 12 months. Tommee Tippee makes this easy with their integrated cup and sippy range. The transition from bottle to sippy cup is smoother when you stay within the same brand — the familiar Tommee Tippee feel and quality helps babies accept the change more readily.